Rev. McKinley L. Sims, M.Div.

It was cold and gloomy in DC today, even in my heated basement apartment and my cozy (if slightly lumpy) quilted bed. I rolled over when my alarm went off on my phone and literally prayed for a notification from work that I might be able to sleep a few more hours, or (gasp!) have a snow day to catch up on some reading. And by reading, I mean crosswords and Netflix. I got up to use the bathroom and flipped on my overhead lights out of habit. Somehow, I got back into bed and closed my eyes, but because the overhead lights were still on….I knew there was a less than absolute zero chance of me falling back asleep. This may not be true for you, but it is sure as heck true for me, and I have my maternal grandfather to thank for that. He used to wake me up in our small town in the Texas Panhandle by hollering, “Chigger*, ‘s time ta geddup!”

(*sidenote: a ‘chigger’ is a small bug that bites and is dang near impossible to get off of you or a cow or a deer or whatever… I used to hate that nickname)

Of course, I rolled over and mumbled something like, “five more minutes, Grandad.”

A pause. The sound of footsteps in the hall. The creak of the door. Silence.

And then he’d flip on the lights in my room, and I knew my short protest was futile. It was like some dark magic or an incredibly powerful Jedi mind trick. Once those lights went on, it didn’t’ matter how many pillows I covered my eyes with, or how excellent my Harry Potter dreams had been. It was time to get up, and it was time to get to work.

So when the lights came on this morning, I knew it was time to get to work, and I have my Grandad to thank for that.

I have T.J. Bergin to thank for a lot of my best traits, especially the ones that came from him “helping” me tamp down some of my worse habits. For example, I’m not near as hooked on video games now, nor am I afraid of getting my hands dirty, nor do I mind taking cold showers….in fact, I like working outside and dirt on my hands and cold showers now……Jedi mind tricks, friend, I’m telling you! The man was a master.

He died 15 years ago today. As I’m getting closer to turning 30, that means he’s been gone from my life for longer than he was ever in it. That’s incredible, like literally hard to believe in. For someone who was so instrumental and left so many indelible marks on my character, my work ethic, my theology, and my relationship with my partner, a woman whom he never met…..it’s hard to wrap your mind around it. It’s hard for me, at least.

It’s hard because I trace so many things that are a part of who I am back to him. My ministry, for example, is very much a reflection of him sitting at the hardware store/coffee shop in Gruver, TX and philosophizing on life while folks came to hear his wisdom and share their problems with him. I got that chaplaining spirit from him, right along with my red beard and my crooked smile. He still feels so present to me, and that’s what makes it so hard to believe that it’s been fifteen years…or has it been fifty years? Feels that way sometimes.

And yet.

And yet he’s not really gone, for all the reasons I just spilt onto this digital paper. Because of who he was, I am who I am. All those memories and feelings and lessons I learned didn’t die with him, because they live on in me. I pass them on to my partner, whom I adore and cherish just as TJ did with my Grandmother (his best advice on women: “when yer dancin’, don’t be afraid. They just like it cuz I hold ‘em close.”) KP never met my Grandad in person, but she’s gotten to meet him through me. And just like with KP, who never met my Grandad, his legacy affects people still to this day, and I pass on that legacy and those memories and that spirit to my friends, colleagues, patients, congregants…..to my kids someday, even if they’ll never meet their (great) great-Grandad in person. The ones who love us, and the ones we love…they never really leave us, do they? Even if it feels like their memory is so far away that it’s almost a dream, once they flip on that light and enter our lives and yell at us that it’s time to get to work….we can’t go back to sleep. They’re in our lives for good, and then it’s time to get to work, to honor their lives and legacy, to love and to minister and to do good in the world. That’s hard to wrap your head around, too, but it’s a good challenge to have.

The light’s on, I’d better get up and get to work.